My astrology experiences – Chiron conjunct progressed Sun/Lilith

Heart wrenching situations happen at times, which in the first instance feel incredibly painful. These can be times of incredible change, though we may not initially want or accept it. The situation that has occurred was not part of the plan, so causes us a great deal of discomfort. I have found that times like this have occurred during a Chiron transit to my natal Sun, most recently when Chiron was transiting my progressed Sun, which is also conjunct progressed Lilith. With Sun ruling the male, and Lilith representing the hidden or supressed femininity and taboo subjects, the painful change that happened with me indeed involved a man and a hidden woman. Lilith energy can manifest as a previously suppressed urge which comes to the surface during Lilith transits. It can also manifest as hidden issues, taboo subjects, affairs, rejections, betrayal, depending on other transiting or natal aspects already in effect.

For me, I felt a betrayal from a man I was involved with who was keeping a woman secret from me. I found out during a full Moon phase, which was also a lunar eclipse, adding more power to the full Moon. A full Moon tends to bring a full light to previously unseen things, which can in turn lead to change and/or endings. This full Moon was sextile to the progressed Sun/Lilith, highlighting and acting as a trigger to those issues and it was also sextile my natal Uranus (the ruler of amongst other things, sudden change an enlightenment). It fell across my 1st/7th house axis, highlighting self and relationships with others.

I feel that transiting Chiron conjuncting and stationing retrograde on my progressed Sun/Lilith brought to my immediate attention, issues that I have previously buried regarding relationships with men and rejection, betrayal. The progressed Sun was bringing a light to these issues already in reaching a conjunction to the Lilith, and transiting Chiron joined in to alchemize this energy. It uprooted the previously buried feelings I had deep inside; fear of betrayal and rejection from a significant relationship. The transit brought these issues directly in front of me to confront head on, no prior warning, completely by surprise. The surprise could be the element of transiting full Moon sextiling natal Uranus. The relationship ended, which was an incredible heart wrenching time, turning me upside down and inside out, I was a wreck and my ego was in tatters, I was in a stunned daze.

My natal Capricorn Sun is square natal Chiron in the 4th house, in Aries. My Sun is in the 2nd house of self worth. This associates with a wounded self worth, with the challenging square aspect making this a hard but worth while lesson in my life. The transiting Chiron conjuncting the progressed Sun was triggering this natal aspect. It is helped somewhat by the fact that the progressed Sun is trining natal Uranus. This is helping in providing inspiration and enlightenment to the Sun/Lilith. Its helping to gain understanding of the issues that are being brought up by Chiron.

Through this transit, change has been inevitable, and very painful at first. The Sun also rules our ego, and mine was badly bruised. I had a grand plan, but Chiron was reminding me that its not up to me, rather, it’s up to the flow of life how things work out in the end. It showed me what I fear the most, which at first I was refusing to accept and tried to change, but when it was apparent there was nothing I could do (to stop the betrayal), I had to let go. Whether I knew it or not, this letting go was also a process of letting go of my ego, and my wants and desires. I had to let it happen in just the way it was, which was a very healing thing to observe. As soon as the initial anger, surprise, all extreme emotions calmed down, I was able to view what was happening differently, and with an acceptance. This acceptance was a process of understanding more about life, of facing my fears and realising that it is just a part of life.

Though the Chiron transit was initially painful, it was just the realisation that the ego does not have as much control of life as I thought that was painful. It was humbling, and took me off my castle in the sky that was made of sand, and brought me down to earth with a bump. Its only when we operate from our ego that we see ourselves as separate from everyone and everything around us, we feel we are somehow different, or special, when in fact we all come from the same source. Chiron transits help us to see this, they help transform our ego motivations into more spiritualised goals.made, and fundamentally, my core essence, my soul ultimately grows and matures through acceptance.

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